Trapped like a hummingbird in a cage
Release me now
I ruminate of you every second of time
You’re holding me hostile in my own mind
where i’m I
I’m in fear of myself
These abstract emotions are hard to disregard
As I lay down to sleep every night
Tossing, turning and itching
I question myself
Is this really what I turned out to be?
I’m afraid to open up because of the hurt
I want to treasure the memories I had but I got to let go now.
What is inner peace?
Where is inner peace?
I hear of joy but it is nought compared to what I thought joy was
I look at time now and wonder
What will I do differently if we were to turn back the hands of time?
I still have the version of temporary happiness I once had
It is trapped in a dark pit levelled with concrete cement
That is where my true self is
Now I am just a being walking around with an empty soul seeking rescue
The agony and devastation is too much
Woe era has to end
Can I break out of this pit?
Will somebody to excavate through the grounds
Just to set self free
black , white and green…are we not all human?
Are we not all human?
What makes a human a human? What makes us different from one another and what makes us stand out from the rest? Race, gender, language, customs or social standards but all these attributes makes us human being and we mustn’t be treated differently because of them. This is a controversial topic and I will not be biased on it because I feel that everyone has their own opinion that justifies their behaviour or even the treatment they get from their fellow being. We will look at the people who get affected by this matter and whether or not if it can be solved
Social media has been raving about the racial and gender issues and yes black people are taking a stand on the oppression they face on daily basis. As much as we say we are liberated we are still oppressed at our work places, on the streets, shopping mall government etc. the only thing that is different now about this is that it’s done under wraps compared to when it was during the apartheid era.
The funny part about this is that we all want green pastures and most of us will do whatever it’s needed to get it.my point here is that even for us ‘victims’ we don’t fight for others to have what we poses but rather take more from them whether it be the little wealth they have or simple things like promotion. Listen this is a very volatile issue and I hope that no one takes offence
For me we are all victims whether you are black, white or green
There are White people jumping on the rights of black people because for whatever reason they might have, I don’t know if they think they are more appealing than blacks or they feel that their ancestors have bruised and abused blacks for them to be superior to the blacks and they won’t let them down they need to continue the legacy whatever!
We find black people who turn against each other because of the tradition they belong to Zulus feel that they need to be considered 1st that Sotho’s Xhosas etc. for their own reason laugh out loud maybe because the president is Xhosa and versa verse.
White and black relationships that are unacceptable to both whites and blacks, let us think of this for a moment many people have reconciled and have formed precious relationships in this whole chaos let’s consider them please, we have best buddies forever kind of relations, husband and wife colleagues and many more
Oppression! Why are we saying that we are oppressed especial here in southern Africa? Preference is given based on skin colour and gender as much as I’ve been denying it it’s a reality I came to think of this in a nation kind of angle; south Africans are known for not tolerating and hating on other nations Zimbabweans Nigerians Somalian etc. but why is that? Because they feel they can do it on others as it was done unto them
I pray that one day we see the light and learn that we can’t always have it all, stepping out of the line to harm and infringe on other people’s right is not on. Yes in my bubble world I believe in humanity, love and respect and one day South Africans (blacks and white) will come to see that really the fight is not worth fighting.
Playing marriage
The society of this age has led us to believe that playing marriage is constituted which is not we are seeing many people living together and sharing everything. Usually there is a law that protect married couples when they decide to separate for whatsoever reason it may be. Laws like in community of property and out of community of property. These laws will help a married couple to have a civil and clean divorces.
What is marriage?
- The legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship
- God instituted marriage as a covenant between one man and one woman, a lifelong union of two partners created in God’s image to govern and manage the earth for him.
There are key words that I have highlighted firstly, let’s take legally; this means that there will be some sort of contract to be sign that will say that you are married to so and so and you are protected by certain acts as a legally married couple.
Formally recognised would be that you are married traditionally (paid lobola) and you are recognised as a wife of so and so and the family is aware of your union.
Covenant; as the bible states that man will leave his mother and father and be united with his wife that is an oath made by a couple before God, remember that a rib was taken out of a man to create a woman this assures us that each and every men has a partner out there.
Now an issue at hand is that we are playing marriage (what we commonly regard as vat n sit) when we should be married, why are we dragging and why are we still playing mama and papa? Do we have the fear of the unknown or are we afraid of long term commitment? What is the matter? Some says it the burden that comes with it, some say they are happy the way they are, some, they can’t stay in one relationship for a long time it becomes boring and some even say marriage changes people.
I personally think that love is a beautiful thing and to be loved back it’s ecstatic, love conquers all and I believe that when two people love, respects and trusts one another they should come together as one and get married. Does the age matter? For me it doesn’t, if you know that you are mature enough to be married why not? When I say maturity I speak of a woman who can you take care of herself, nurture a child, a lady who is groomed enough to please and satisfy her husband. A woman who can cook not only for herself but for others as well. A lady who is willing to compromise certain aspects of her life for somebody else. For a man, are you man enough to leave your family and be with her? Are you ready quit the game and focus on only her that being your wife, can you provide and protect? If the answers to all these questions is yes then you can take a wife.
In conclusion, let’s stop this thing of going with the flow playing house, most often this game usually leaves us petrified and anxious to move on with our lives because of the hurt and disappointments of the past, lets us stop making promises that we cannot keep, make your intentions clear about the person you are involved with so that the both of you can be on a same path. Love is not just a feeling it’s a practical thing. Love is beautiful…
The broken promise
No! Promises are not meant to be broken imagine how that person that feels after that has ensued. When I was a child lots of promises that were made to me got broken I always felt unloved and disappointed,ok here is a thing my mom passed away when I was really small I had to live with different families both from my maternal and paternal family, I moved from one family to another they couldn’t keep me for long because of their own reasons. They made a promise to love me and take care of me but that promise was broken the moment they sent me to another family, as a 9 year old you have to be worried about which doll you are going to get next not the next family that will foster you. I won’t say much about my experience with these families but all I can say is that I survived.
What is a promise?
A statement telling someone that you will definitely do something or that something will definitely happen in the future. If this doesn’t happen you feel miserable, I feel that the promise that was made to me got broken when my mom passed away, when you bring a child to this world you make a promise to raise them in a stable home with loving parents, I saw first-hand how my mom was abused by my dad and that was a broken promise; my home was not a stable and I wasn’t loved because no child is supposed to see their parents fight, at least put on a united front at her presence. I know I’m not the only one who have had this tough phase, lots and lots of young south Africans go through this and some survive some don’t they become victim of circumstances, I did not let my life get to that stage though.
I have a handsome baby boy and regardless of what happens when I make him a promise I’ll make sure that I deliver or else if I’m not sure I’ll keep quiet and get him a surprise gift because I know the feeling of disappointment.
Till to this time I still see promises being made and not fulfilled, look it doesn’t matter how small or massive the promise is, you made it so you need to fulfil it, if you promise you’ll get me my favourite chocolate do so if you promise you’ll marry me do so (a marriage promise is on another level, we will discuss it on playing marriage next week). A promise is a promise
Your time will come
It has been a long journey for me and I have seen the mercy and favour of the Lord in my life but the fact that he doesn’t come through to us when we think that we really need him does not mean that he has turned a blind eye on us . This is what I have learned this passed weeks, I’ve seen that the Lord prepares us for things unseen vainly and those that are on the physical ;there are many things I’ve asked from the Lord and never receive to this day. I have asked myself why! some how I think I know the answer but because of his word I know that he is a just God ,I have fasted and prayed but nothing has happened (as yet because I believe that eventually they will come to manifestation) for an example I’ve entered competitions and prayed to the Lord that I want a car but as I was reading the word and asking God but why can’t you give me a car? Something clicked, you say you want a car? you look at them everyday and compare their prices but you said you don’t want to pay monthly car instalments and that its either it is bought cash or someone gives or buys it for you or you win it because you enter competitions; but still we have to work on some things before you get, first you know your temper, develop patience so that you will work with other road users well, secondly please you can’t really drive and thirdly dear child you don’t have a licence. Yes, all things are possible with God but he helps those who help themselves I want a car but I don’t have licence I need to do my part so that the Lord can do his.
We worry too much but it’s because of the frustrations and stressful life we are living in, for worrying is not of the Lord. There is a scripture that says worry not about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself something like that. When you are a child of God it does not mean you’ll be in a bubble and all the impacts of life will not affect you or you’ll not be exposed to them; no they will but the good thing is we know how to handle such, for these things we have found them here and we will leave them here ,1 Timothy 6:6 we as the children of the most high we know how to be patient, To learn to be grateful of what we have and we know who to run to for counsel when the walls are closing in on us. We cry unto the Lord for he said we should. he is our father and he knows everything.
Aspects of life 